37 lessons for 37 years

2025-09-02

4 minute read

This is a collection of affirmations, mistakes, and reminders that I tried to post last year. They were pulled in loose chronological order from monthly reflections I’ve been writing for a while now.

There is “nothing to attain.” I do not have to write a novel before I die, nor read 1,000 books, nor pass beyond grade 8 on the classical guitar, nor climb upward at work.
It is ok to step away (and never return) from any voluntary work that stresses me out mentally, physically, and emotionally. On top of a full-time job and evening classes and everything else.
I will accept that I have a lot more energy to work on the beginning of new projects and I can rely on accountability tricks to get me past the middle.
It is unnecessary and unhealthy to sit in front of the computer ALL day at work.
Do not double-book yourself into two classes that overlap each other by half an hour or so. It is disrespectful to the teachers.
Do not catch a $16 Uber ride to make it to a return center before they close so that you can drop off a book for a $16 refund. It’s a SUNK COST.
You are not above preparation. Just because you’re not terrified of public speaking does not mean you can stand up in front of everyone without practicing your part. Rehearsal is essential.
It’s important to verbally express gratitude and other affections to people.
Reading fiction and poetry are crucial for the ~soul~ and I need that besides self-help and other non-fiction books.
Writing letters is writing. Do it more!!!
During intense anxiety/stress, I still reach out for emotional support even though I tend to believe I don’t need any help.
You can’t wait until the end of the year to throw together a zine issue within a week. You try to do this every year. Stop and build a regular writing practice.
I have enough initiative that I don’t need to wait for a manager to give me an assignment. Sometimes I need to whir until I realize action needs to be taken, and then I can feel excited to wake up in the morning again.
Get out of your comfort zone to show up for a friend or family member in need. Don’t make them negotiate with you for your emotional availability.
It does not hurt to ASK for something. It might surprise you and happen.
Express more compassion than critique/correction.
There are limitations to asking the internet for help. Experience and skills are “deep knowledge” and you need to show it some respect. Examples: plumbers and healthcare professionals.
Retrain myself to ask more questions instead of launching into lecture mode.
Learning how to cook will be a game changer.
Play the long game and do not be afraid to do the unglamorous day-to-day work.
Stop drinking alcohol.
Take half days off work wherever possible. You’ll get more done in half a day, too. Next, take more days off work, preferably 1-2 weeks at a time.
There will be people who do not agree with decisions I make for myself, my risks to myself and to others, and that is ultimately up to me re: what is possible. What I need to do. What’s right for me. I will weigh other factors but I’m not doing it to please anyone else.
Avoid beginning my day by replying to texts from friends in bed as soon as I wake up, esp. if it’s an emotionally heavy one that requires sensitivity and support.
Prioritize sleep, 8-9 hours.
Keep my home clean. It’s refreshing.
Invest 100% of myself in everything I do.
Beware of Google Maps. The most efficient route is not the safest, like accidentally walking alongside a highway for 45 minutes.
Bring a book to read at the beach more. It helps to slow down time.
If I’m routinely bothered by someone’s energy, it’s ok to unfriend/unfollow them. I don’t need to get along with someone who hates most books they read or who pouts and puts up the middle finger in all their selfies.
Revisit Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents from time to time. It improved my relationship with my mom, at least from what is in my control.
Spending money on learning and development (art, writing, language tutors, music lessons, weightlifting coach) is very worthwhile and makes me the happiest. Spending money up to 3x a day on food to go or nice dining without a special occasion is the worst.
Be honest with myself if I’m feeling sick. Rest, hydrate, mask, communicate, cancel plans.
When you are receiving mixed signals from a crush, it is in fact a clear signal that you should move on. Faster. Accept what someone is able to give or not.
Be alert to the kind of thinking that limits myself and others around me. Maybe I’m not outwardly negative, but there are subtle moments of being critical, doubtful, or not believing someone can change.
Thankfully, this is no longer how I feel: She had rejected love and taught herself to live without intimacy.
Life’s too short ;-) Here I am, 3️⃣8️⃣